Freeing Your Mind After Graduation

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

Henry David Thoreau 

May 6, 2011. 

Could have very well been the happiest day of my young, adolescent life. I shared a bit of my experience as a student in the commencement speech, was surrounded by loving friends and family, and knew that the next 12 months would be an incredible journey abroad. 

During my transition from recent grad to a contributing citizen, there were a few things (read: rite of passages) and experiences that I had left to..well, experience. I wanted to be as bold as I told people to be. I wanted to challenge myself (although the challenge itself isn't the most fun part) and come to grips with my newfound responsibilities as an adult (paying back student loans, yuck).

During the subsequent 90 days, I began a freeing process that went a little something like this:

1. Try Something New


I moved out of my apartment, sold all of my things, packed up a suitcase with a week-and-a-half worth of clothes and took a flight to San Diego to crash at my parent's house. Unbeknownst to my mother, I had been planning a skydiving excursion for the past month, and needed a place to unwind and be pampered (in a way that only a mother could pamper her child). 

On the day of the jump, a friend of mine, Jonathan, and I drove down near the Mexican border. We got trained, strapped up and made our ascent to 13,000 feet. (First, let me mention that my instructor, Merlin, thought it would be a grand idea to flip me 360 degrees out of the plane.)


What followed was a minute long free fall. I equate the feeling of free-falling to a quote from Steve Jobs: 

"I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life."

Even as I had done some cool things in college, people learn to uphold those expectations and sometimes, the burden of trying to live up to those expectations is a challenge. The heaviness of being successful as Steve Jobs states is the idea that success comes at a cost (and it does) and is a lot of hard work (which it is). There is something refreshing about starting over and being a novice at something. At the moment of the jump, the heaviness of the burden of expectation seemed to slowly fade and was replaced with a lightness that could only come at the beginning of something new. I was beginning a new chapter in my life. I was venturing into the unknown. I had no idea what was ahead of me, but my long journey was about to begin with a single step. 

Doing something new (taking an cross-country Amtrak journey, engaging in an extreme sport, running a marathon, shark diving, etc.) can present a unique challenge. The act itself is a symbol of freedom—you're so close to nature and your natural self (full of fear, hehe)—that being thrown into the unknown and adapting is as freeing as the act itself.

2. Increase Your (idea) Income


Austin Kleon once wrote in his book, (which I highly recommend) Steal Like an Artist, that 

"there is an economic theory out there that if you take the incomes of your five closest friends and average them, the resulting number will be pretty close to your own income."

I agree with Austin when he says that believes the same is true with idea incomes. You'll only be as good as the people you surround yourself by. If they tell you garbage everyday, then everyday, you'll regurgitate...garbage. Iron sharpens iron, remember? 


When I was in middle school, I started hanging with the wrong crowd. My mom, who wasn't the biggest fan of these girls, decided to take a radical step: enter me in a lottery for an arts school. I was selected and transferred schools. I was not a happy camper (she told me only a few years ago that this was the sole reason why she entered me into the lottery).


You see, had I continued growing older with these girls, I would have headed down a very (very) different path. Those girls didn't help me improve my idea income; if I would have stuck with them, they would have negated it.


Nowadays, I think about ideas often. I have an excel spreadsheet (appropriately named Idea Nation) dedicated to ideas. I carry a small notebook with me most of the time and am constantly typing things in notepad on my phone. Ideas are so important. They say a lot about who/what influences you. Who are the people who influence your ideas? Do they have a ton of them? Do they challenge your ideas or knock them down? (I have plenty of ideas that make me laugh when I read them out loud, but the fact that I have them to read aloud is enough for me). 

You shouldn't act on every single good idea; let them marinate (some of my ideas have been chillin' in Idea Nation for almost a year now). If you were to act on every idea, you'll spread yourself thin and the very idea that deserves the most attention, won't get it. 

You can increase your idea income by surrounding yourself with people who have higher incomes than you. For me, I increased my idea income when I met my Luce Scholar family. The conversations and ideas that have come from these relationships has been mind blowing. For you, it could mean sharing your own ideas in the hopes that someone out there, reflects your beliefs and draws themselves closer to you (it happens, often!) Go somewhere that's always interested you. Find interesting events and things to do. Befriend interesting people. 

Idea incomes. Don't go for broke. 

3. Take a Think Week


A Think Week is a seven day stretch (or more, if you like) of seclusion to recharge your thinking and focus on personal development. It's a time where you can reflect on your past and your future, read about new ideas and make changes accordingly. 

"Think Week" in Maui, Hawaii

A month after I graduated, I headed over to Maui, Hawaii for a "Think Week" (and staff retreat for hC). During my time there, I sat and stared at sunsets, hiked through and swam in ponds in the rainforest, powered off my cell phone, wrote nice things about other people, thought (a lot), wandered around vintage movie prop warehouses, went to a luau and spent time reflecting on the future direction of my life and organization. I had another abridged Think Week at the tip of the Indian Subcontinent a few months ago. I spent a lot of my time finishing unfinished books, reading through scriptures, journaling and meditating.  During this intentional time off, I was able to clear my thinking and focus my direction. 


My digital friend (I haven't met him yet) Mike Karnjanaprakorn, said that during a recent Think Week he was able to

 "make a clear decision on what I wanted to do next with my personal and professional life. By disconnecting from the world, time moved really slow. I really got to enjoy the moment, which we often neglect in our chaotic worlds."

For many years, Bill Gates took two one-week Think Weeks a year. Family, friends and Microsoft employees were banned. There, he would read through hundreds of pages of employee manuscripts while pondering both the future of Microsoft and the creative thinking of his employees. By powering off, Bill Gates was able to usher in and facilitate the tons of innovations for Microsoft that came out of reading employee manuscripts during these Think Weeks.


Every seven years, Stefan Sagmeister, a graphic designer and typographer, takes a one-year sabbatical to refresh his thinking and renew his creativity. Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard, right? After all, time is money. If one Think Week a year can help focus on the right thing, what's stoppin' you?

4. Side Projects Rule!


I was introduced to the concept of side projects by Facebook's Creative Director, Ji Lee. During his Creative Mornings talk (one of my favorite talks), he highlighted the transformative power of personal side projects, why everyone should have them, and how his side projects have helped him land amazing jobs.

Feeling uninspired at his job, he began venturing into various different side projects. Out of this un-inspiration, The Bubble Project was born. With his own money, he purchased 30,000 empty speech bubbles and pasted them on signs, wall posts, billboards, movie posters, etc. all over NYC. This side project became a viral interactive experience for everyone. 


During his talk, he highlighted what having personal projects has taught him:

• Personal projects and professional projects compliment each other (you can get amazing professional opportunities that stem from a personal side project).
• The knowledge that you gain from your professional work (mass scaling, marketing, organizing etc.) can transfer to your personal projects.
• Creating a platform is powerful. Instead of focusing on yourself, create  a project that captures the imagination of others. The best side projects are ones that engage audiences and allow them to share experiences.  

A few months after graduating, I started my first side project in India. I set a minimum of a one year commitment. It's unreleased for now, but look forward to continuing the fun once I return stateside.


Starting a project on the side that excites you when your work is dull and mundane opens up amazing doors. When you're stuck at work, switch over. Split your time between the two, if you can! Most of Ji's favorite jobs have come from being recruited for work he had done on his side projects. 


Side projects keep life fun and exciting. 


5. Read


A few years ago, I was in line at a grocery store with a friend. I was reading a newspaper and this young guy came up and tried to smooth talk us. As he saw us looking at the newspaper, he made some sly gesture. When I asked him what he meant, he mentioned that he never read. 


I admit, when I was in middle school and high school, I wasn't the biggest reader. Sure, I had my Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen books stacked on my bookshelf and enjoyed fiction books from time to time, but I never really read for fun. Then I found some books worth reading.

I love reading. You should too! Anything that exists today can be found in the pages of books. No idea is new, it's just a remix of an old idea. Now, I mostly read books that improve my relationships—with God, myself, other people— as well as books on personal development, social psychology and career development.

After graduating, a mentor of mine gave me a book reader. It symbolized an investment that differed  from my other graduation gifts. During my year in India, one of his only desires was for me to read (and save money). I loaded up on the books and began reading. Here is a pretty interesting list of books that I've picked through.

This last step to freeing your mind after graduation is (IMO) one of the more important ones. When you read, your mind stretches. It transforms and takes shape of the book or article that it's engulfed in. Anything becomes everything, possible is the name of the game and your brain is at the mercy of the author. It's magical. 

—

On June 29, 2011, I made my journey across the Pacific. My post-graduation freeing process was a success.  I was refreshed and renewed.  I had never felt more liberated. This isn't a hard and fast list, just something that (in retrospect) really helped prepare me for the following journey.

Do you have any process of freeing your mind after a huge milestone?

Leaving it behind: Why I Sold my Things to Buy Experience

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” – Lin Yutang 

During the fall of my senior (read: super senior) year in college, I decided that I wanted to try something different. I wanted to see the world—perhaps out of my own selfish desire—and connect with the world outside of one that I had become so attached to and familiar with. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was determined to get out of the US and experience the most fascinating corners of the world (for free). I did some research on international fellowships and was given one of the most (IMO) helpful books on finding opportunities at home abroad for young twentysomethings: Delaying the Real World by Colleen Kinder. 

After studying the book, which divides opportunities by interest—operating hot air balloons over the hills of France or becoming a scuba diving instructor off of the coast of Australia are all listed under adventure, while the Luce Scholars Program or Fulbright may be listed under travel, among other things—I further narrowed down my options. A thousand questions, hundreds of back and forth emails and a few interviews later, I became a Luce Scholar. 

Mission accomplished. I was moving to India. 

Graduation was fast approaching and I had an entire apartment full of barely and rarely used things, a closet and a basement full of clothes I had been compiling since high school, and furniture and furnishings I had to find a home for. A few ideas crossed my mind: 

I could store it until I get back. Nope, too expensive.

I could rent a U-haul, pack my things and send them to my mom's house. Maybe, but the garage at home is full.

I could...

I could..

The list was endless. I began to see that I was only making excuses so that, upon my return to the US, I could be met with something familiar. George Gissing once said that "It is familiarity with life that makes time speed quickly. When every day is a step in the unknown, as for children, the days are long with gathering of experience." It is with that notion, that I began to set the stage of a journey to un-familiarize, unlearn and rebuild. 

I began to go through my things and sorted through what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to give away or sell. One of my other friends was conveniently moving overseas to join the Peace Corps, so we decided to team up and do an international moving sale. The premise was simple: The sale, hosted at my apartment, was an as-is-sale. You know those cool walk-through yard sales where the house looks like no one is moving?  

We didn't move anything, we just put prices on everything.

Although the sale was a successful one, it symbolized something much bigger: A growing commitment to live with less and strive to buy experience instead. How did I do it? I just did it. Besides, it would be an opportunity to rebuild my wardrobe with different things from around the world, I assured myself.


I took a deep breath and let go of everything. It wasn't easy, but it was best. When I get back to the United States, I won't come back to much material familiarity, and that's ok. It's more than ok, actually. We've been taught to accumulate and hoard things that we can never transfer from this life. That mindset is one that should be met with some resistance.  

Listen, I don't have all the answers, but I do know this (points towards my twentysomethings):

• That corner office with all the gold trimmings, pension and paid vacation won't come without sacrifice. You may win on one end, but you will likely sacrifice hours and time away from the things that matter most in life. 
• This is the only time in our lives where we're free of the commitment required of careers, husbands/wives, children and mortgages. That six-figure salary can wait for a year—or two—while you set your priorities straight with some time abroad.

A nurse at a palliative care center in Australia who took care of patients at the very end of their lives, often asked them about their life regrets. Of the myriad of answers she received, there were five recurring ones:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Life can be quite comfortable, yes.. but at the risk of seeing your days travel right by you with lightning speed. If you woke up this morning, went through your day and by the end of the day, realized that this day was no different than the previous, something (if you so desire) has got to change.

The desire to live for a period of happy discomfort (at least for now) has to start from within. During my time here in India, I've seen quite a few amazing sights, grew tremendously in my relationship with Christ, soul searched and poised myself for the future. Most of the change I've undergone came during times of discomfort and isolation, and have ultimately made me a better contribution to society.

Life is good in the United States indeed; we can boast quite a few things—higher efficiency, guarantee of education, comfort, standard of living and certain securities—amenities that many developing countries haven't measured up to...just yet.

Now that I've bored you all enough with my story, I want to help you create your own. Below are a few steps, misconceptions and books to read to begin your journey:

1. I'm not really comfortable traveling anywhere without my friends/significant other

Understandable. You don't want to experience traveling in an unfamiliar place without the familiarity of a friend. They make every situation better, can help you remember where in jungles of Cambodia you all were last summer and can be an awkward (because there are many awkward situations abroad) situation buffer. To this I say that each journey is a deeply personal one; you grow by yourself and ultimately have to deal with aspects of your life that no one else may see. Although it's one thing to enjoy the company of a friend (as I do), it's another if the sole reason you don't want to travel is because you're afraid of experiencing life without your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend or a group of friends. You will miss out. There is no better feeling upon returning stateside than knowing that you conquered the world—solo. 

I've learned the most about myself when I've traveled by myself. The above photo was taken on an abridged thinkweek I took in Kanyakumari, India.

2. Money, money, money, money....Money!

But of course. The only hinderance of mankind—money. There is one pretty cool thing that I learned a few months back that I now apply to just about everything funding related: money will always be a problem. You'll never have enough money and you'll always want a little more. If you've heard of Mint.com, it's a pretty dope site that consolidates all of your banking information, reminds you by text when your bills are due and helps you set goals—more specifically—travel goals. It'll let you know how much you should deposit into a savings account every month in order to meet your travel goal. If money is still a huge hinderance, look up ways to travel for free!  

• Delaying the Real World by Colleen Kinder is a great start.  STA Travels sponsors a few World Travelers a year and rewards them with an all expense paid 30-day intense tour of Europe. 
• Google is your friend. Be specific in looking for opportunities. "Fellowships abroad" is too broad, and similarly, you shouldn't Google "Fellowships in seed planting in Nova Scotia" if you have zero interest in seed-planting or Nova Scotia.
• Does something specific interest you? Try looking for targeted funding options (researching in another country for 3, 6 or 12 months), apply for the Fulbright, or look for other opportunities in Colleen Kinder's book.
• Teach English! Teaching in Asia yields the most money; recent grads can make a salary of about $40,000 just to teach English in Japan or Korea. 
• Use universities to your advantage. When looking for fellowships, I just went to university websites (their scholarship and fellowship office website) and looked through their options of work or fellowships abroad. Cuts your Google searching time (efficiency!)

3. Understand Why We Travel

We travel because we want to learn, we want to experience. Somewhere deep down, we want to feel the connection amidst the difference of culture, location, opinion and lifestyle. We want to know that we are still human; we still cry, fear, laugh and hope (albeit in different languages) and furthermore, we still belong to each other. We are all sisters and brothers. This article, adds an inexplainable depth to the reason people travel. I read it when right before I left for India.

4. Only a Plane Ride Away

There is something exhilarating about knowing that a flight as little as 6-7 hours can take you to a place so different, you'd have to strain to recognize it—your social cues will be assaulted, you will have to resort to your preschool English (and like it!) much of the time, and you'll be in a constant state of grasping for your bearings. The magical thing though, is that once we step off the plane and we escape the place where we've spent the most time, we suddenly become more aware of the ideas we may have suppressed and become innovative thinkers, applying what we see to problems back home. We are introduced to newer ideas in ways that would have never occurred if we stayed where we were! 

This is just behind where I currently live in Dharamshala, India.

5. You (or your employer) Won't Regret it

Sometimes we need a break. A break from the mundane life we lead back home. When was the last time you ever heard someone say that they regretted traveling, or an employer state that he/she didn't hire someone because they traveled too much? If I had two identical resumes, the applicant who took a year off to volunteer in Honduras or worked on a round-the-world cruise ship would win my vote. 

Travel diversifies your experiences, it better positions you to work with (and be more accepting of) others, and makes you more creative. 

Lehrer once stated that we don't spend 10 hours lost in the Louvre because we like it, and the view from the top of Machu Picchu probably doesn't make up for the hassle of lost luggage. (More often than not, I need a holiday after my holiday.) We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic of creativity. When we get home, home is still the same. But something in our mind has been changed, and that changes everything.

Traveling makes all the difference. Our thoughts are shackled by the familiar. Take a chance, breathe in and let go. Opt to buy experience. You'll thank yourself later. 

Cambodian Giveaway!

Strive to live with less rather than desiring more; give away out of your abundance rather than accumulating more; relish what you have rather than resent what you're missing.
-Life Application Study Bible (Hebrews 13: 5,6)

And yet, the earth continues to give.    

Taroko Gorge, Taiwan

It's been a while, sorry!


I'm in between transition stages and am sending a little note from my hotel room in Siem Reap, Cambodia. I just arrived a few hours ago and thought that this would probably be the best time for updates. 


1) I'm moving to the base of the Himalayas when I return to India next week!
2) I only have 2 more months in India ;(
3) I got accepted into grad school for the fall ;)
4) I'll be traveling with just these items for the next 5 months (#overpackerstruggle)
5) North Korea is on the itinerary.


Along my travel route on this trip (Taiwan, Malaysia, Cambodia), I've been picking up cool and meaningful things that I would like to share with you. All you have to do is answer the question in the comments box and I will hand package the gift and ship it to you. 


About twice a month, I will be shipping a small gift from a different country. This go 'round, it's Cambodia. 


The question is: Offer a newborn child only one piece of advice. What would it be?

Questions for Humanity

"Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender."
Henri Frederic Amiel



For the past two weeks I have been traveling in Bangladesh. Prior to that, I spent two weeks on a pan-India train ride. The lack of posting has partly been because I've been traveling and partly because I've been transforming, seeking answers to questions that—if I'm lucky enough, will appear to me in this lifetime. In Bangladesh, I spent a week in the villages of Munshigonj talking with and listening to villagers affected by increasingly saline soil as a result of environmental catastrophes. While visiting, I met some amazing young men. These men served us at the Shushilan training center where we stayed. Although they were ambitious—they had dreams of leaving Bangladesh and becoming solvent enough to live comfortably and give more to their families—most of them never finished school.

I sat down and spoke with Roni, a 20 year old  who left school in 8^th class. We talked about our lives and I asked him where he wanted to travel. Unfortunately, the leisurely undertone that I intended the question to rest upon was met with a strict work mindset. Roni wanted to work in Dubai. He wanted to be able to take care of his family—they came first. He shared with us his monthly wages. He makes Tk 3,000 a month, approximately $35 dollars. Of that, he gives $23-29 to his family and pockets the remaining $6-12.

He told me that he wanted to work at this training center so that if, by any chance, a foreigner came, he/she would like Roni enough to want to bring him home. Later that evening, I sat up in bed and began to wonder what we could have possibly done to have been born into our families—into both our social and financial arrangements. Had my mother not immigrated to the US in the early 80s (because of an arranged marriage) I could have lived the same fate as Roni.

Often times, for lack of self-awareness and exposure to people like Roni, we (westerners) continue to loathe certain conditions of our lives—coveting lives richer in material wealth or fame. Make no mistakes, Roni, Bappy and Billal (two other workers) have bubbling personalities who are happy to simply have each other. From afar, I watched the collaborative, dependent nature of their relationships. Who was I to call them poor? Who defined this term? If the definition of poor didn't exist, how would Roni, Bappy or Billal classify themselves? I realized that while their restrictive wealth had been a deterrent, their simple and simply led lives leave lessons that many can aspire and should pay attention to. 

If I could ask humanity a question, I'd ask many—what can two people leading radically different lives learn from each other? How can we improve relationships and live sustainably? How can we better deal with the cards that we are dealt? How can cross-fertilize experiences, drawing ourselves closer to each other?

The light in the eyes of Bangladeshis will beat in my heart always. I've come back to India a more enlightened person, more aware of people living around me and charged with the inspiration to do something. Charity isn't what people need, what they need is the knowledge and tools to build a better future. 

'Tis the Season to be...Married?

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

Oscar Wilde

Bright lights, sangeets, mehendi and lots of red are undoubtedly characteristic of Indian weddings. December is a huge month for India, and some even joke that wedding season constitutes up to 20% of India's GDP. I've been to two weddings in the past two weeks and I must say, four days of wedding celebrations per wedding can really wear you down.


Traditionally,  there is mehendi --the ceremony of applying henna to the hands (and in the bride's case, her feet) of the women of the wedding party. Following the mehendi(on the day of or day after) is the sangeet --a ceremony (traditionally Punjabi or North Indian) where family and friends come together to celebrate the wedding through dance and music. There can be a groom-hosted sangeet and a bride-hosted sangeet. Following one or both sangeets is the wedding ceremony, a super relaxed day of prayers and traditional ceremonies. 

The bride's mehendi is the most detailed and is often drawn up to her elbow (sometimes even to her shoulder!)

The brides best friend

Food!

Beautiful bride

The second wedding (Indo-Brazilian) was equally fun. Below are pictures from the wedding ceremony (I missed the actual wedding ceremony of the first wedding).

Black and White

"Photography does not create eternity, as art does; it embalms time, rescuing it simply from its proper corruption."

-André Bazin

In 2005, for Christmas, my mother bought me what I had always wanted. An SLR. 

This wasn't just any old SLR camera, it was a grey manual Nikon. My high school graduation was rapidly approaching, I was taking a black and white photography class, and I wanted something to capture all of the amazing skills and techniques I was learning. My teacher at the time, Ms. Wescott, despised digital cameras and color photos. We were relegated to learning black and white film techniques, developing film and learning pinhole photography. To this day, it is the best class that I've ever taken. Almost 7 years later, I still have my notebook...and my camera. 

I rarely get the chance to develop anymore, and even more rare is the opportunity to digitalize my film photos. Nonetheless, the pictures below are ones that were taken a few years back for a friend (even some of the 2009 Inauguration of President Obama). 

The kind of age that you get (in contrast as well as in depth) on photographs in a film camera is unmatched, and the authenticity of these photos is one of the many things that I treasure most about film cameras.

Enjoy!

Embracing Shadows

I wear my shadows where they're harder to see, but they follow me everywhere. I guess that should tell me I'm travelling toward light. 
-Bruce Cockburn

Around the time that I was leaving for India, a friend of mine recommended The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Brilliance, Creativity and Dreams by Debbie Ford. I ordered the book and began reading the first few weeks in India. Needless to say, this transformative book is one of the more powerful books in my current collection. 


The book demonstrates how our darkest tendencies, when embraced, can fuel our biggest dreams. It takes quite a bit of courage to read this book; you dig into the corners and crawl spaces of your past forgotten self and learn to embrace yourself entirely. The beauty of this book, you will find, are the exercises and stories that make you realize how much of your self (your shadows), have been hidden and repressed and how much fuller, if you tune those shadows, your life will be.

It is when you learn to embrace shadowed qualities that you become who you were always meant to be. It is a painful process indeed, one that stirs up emotions and memories that you have wanted to forget, but you are indeed a better person because of it. Every past is worth condemning. The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape what is bad in it, but we will only escape it by adding something better to it. 


In addition to purchasing this book (I have the e-book), you should begin your journey (not for the faint hearted, but for those who truly want to transform themselves) with answering these few questions.

1. What quality to you love about yourself, how do you outwardly display that to others?

2. What is the opposite of this quality? Do you find yourself judging this quality in others? 


Your shadows are the keys on the chain needed to unlock your future and live your best life.